So I had a day of rest after my first day of walking/running.
The next day, I was supposed to do 8 minutes walking, then 8 1-minute intervals of running and walking. Then walking 4 minutes. Alberto, however, had a different idea. He wanted to go biking in the Flatwoods. I agreed, and we spent about an hour and a half out there.
IT WAS INSANE.
I had a bike when I was a kid, and on and off through college...but the extent of my bike riding was on the road in my old, quiet neighborhood, and around campus. Nothing crazy. I ride on one gear: fast. Yes, it makes pedaling harder, and yes, its harder to get going...but thats how I like it, no matter how many times Alberto tells me to shift gears. :)
I had never ridden a bike on anything that remotely resembled dirt or sand. In the Flatwoods, there was dirt and sand and leaves and roots, and HUGE roots, and hills, and drops, and narrow paths, and armadillos, and unseen animals rustling around in bushes menacingly. It was fun, but frustrating. We got lost. We were exhausted. I wanted to go home.
And my butt...OH MY GOODNESS. The bumping along on the roots was excruciating, and the soreness as a result was even worse and lasted longer.
But wow, it was an amazing workout. The skin on my arms did the same thing my legs had done before...they got all itchy and burning. The skin became all red and blotchy, too.
It was fun, though, and we're hopefully going again tomorrow, if I can borrow a bike.
Today I got back to my walking/running.
This time it was on the treadmill in our apartment's gym since it was dark outside and I don't feel safe running alone at night. I did a total of 1.12 miles...the workout I describes in the beginning.
The treadmill said I only burned 85 calories, and I'm really hoping thats an underestimate. >:/
Also, I've been trying to eat healthier! More on that later.
Monday, January 3, 2011
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Here We Go Again...
But this time, I'm REALLY going to do it!
I've said at least ten times in my life that I was going to start running, and keep running. About 8 of those 10 times, I actually started the running. And none of those times did I actually KEEP running.
Lack of will-power and motivation was to blame. Lazy? Yes. But since in the last year I've gained 12 pounds (in the form of a gut that makes me look 3 or 4 months pregnant and a much larger rear-end), obesity runs in my family, and I'm most comfortable when my jeans are unbuttoned, I decided it really is time I get in shape.
I posted on my Facebook status about this endeavor and told many friends and co-workers, and most of the replies I got were people saying that 12 pounds isn't that much, that I'm already petite, or that I've always been skinny, and am I crazy? Honestly, its very annoying. For a 5'1" woman who has always hovered around 105, YES, 12 pounds is that much. And since when is not fitting into any of your clothes NOT a good reason to lose weight? And people..."petite" does not mean skinny. It means proportionally small height-wise. That means I could be 200 pounds, short, and be called petite. Thank you to all of my friends who still think I look good...really, I appreciate it.
But when I look in the mirror, I see fat where I did not see it before. I see my stomach actually hanging over the waistline of my pants. I see myself weighing 300 pounds like relatives of mine in twenty years. I see a million reasons to start down the road to being the weight I want to be and being fit and healthy.
Now, the motivation and will-power previously lacking in my life is here at the moment. What if it goes away? I don't know, honestly. I do know that I am being more proactive about that possibility by reading health blogs, visiting Womens Health Magazine's website every day, visiting Runners World's website every day, and Googling whatever I can to keep my interest peaked.
Today was the first day of my actual training regimen. I am following the Beginners Running Guide from Women's Health Magazine. Today was 10 minutes of walking, then 6 minutes of alternating between running and walking...1 minute for each. Then a 4 minute cool-down.
It started off great! I felt empowered with my new running shoes ($22 Adidas from Ross!) and clothes. I felt AWESOME with my iPod playing rock music. I felt slightly worried that I would lose my keys (mental note: buy a lanyard).
After the first minute of running, however, the difficulty level shot sky high. I thought 3 minutes of running would be a breeze...oh boy, was I wrong. My whole body kept seizing up, and then I would realize that my form was really bad and try to correct it. Suddenly, carrying my iPod was a nuisance...and I did drop the keys (luckily, I somehow heard the "clink" of them hitting the cement over the sound of my music). When it was 4 minute walk-time, I was thanking the Lord Jesus.
When I got home, I walked to the kitchen to make a protein shake, only to realize I didn't have any milk. I pondered over the situation for a moment, and decided to walk/run to the gas station nearby to get some. Driving seemed like a stupid idea since I had just walked/ran about 3 times the distance.
Then it hit...OH MY GOSH, it was awful.
ITCHING...my legs, hips, thighs...itching and burning! What the heck? I have NO IDEA, but it was unbearable. I walked, and it went away. When I started running again, it came back. Could my own body be against me in this goal to better myself?
That doesn't make any sense!
I made it home after questioning myself several times about why I did not just take the car. I've learned my lesson...always have milk.
Tomorrow is walk 8 minutes, alternate walking/running for 12 minutes...4 minute walk. Somehow...I'm still excited about it!
And in case you're interested, here is a map of my walk/run today!
http://www.mapmyrun.com/route/us/fl/tampa/420129376407977481
I've said at least ten times in my life that I was going to start running, and keep running. About 8 of those 10 times, I actually started the running. And none of those times did I actually KEEP running.
Lack of will-power and motivation was to blame. Lazy? Yes. But since in the last year I've gained 12 pounds (in the form of a gut that makes me look 3 or 4 months pregnant and a much larger rear-end), obesity runs in my family, and I'm most comfortable when my jeans are unbuttoned, I decided it really is time I get in shape.
I posted on my Facebook status about this endeavor and told many friends and co-workers, and most of the replies I got were people saying that 12 pounds isn't that much, that I'm already petite, or that I've always been skinny, and am I crazy? Honestly, its very annoying. For a 5'1" woman who has always hovered around 105, YES, 12 pounds is that much. And since when is not fitting into any of your clothes NOT a good reason to lose weight? And people..."petite" does not mean skinny. It means proportionally small height-wise. That means I could be 200 pounds, short, and be called petite. Thank you to all of my friends who still think I look good...really, I appreciate it.
But when I look in the mirror, I see fat where I did not see it before. I see my stomach actually hanging over the waistline of my pants. I see myself weighing 300 pounds like relatives of mine in twenty years. I see a million reasons to start down the road to being the weight I want to be and being fit and healthy.
Now, the motivation and will-power previously lacking in my life is here at the moment. What if it goes away? I don't know, honestly. I do know that I am being more proactive about that possibility by reading health blogs, visiting Womens Health Magazine's website every day, visiting Runners World's website every day, and Googling whatever I can to keep my interest peaked.
Today was the first day of my actual training regimen. I am following the Beginners Running Guide from Women's Health Magazine. Today was 10 minutes of walking, then 6 minutes of alternating between running and walking...1 minute for each. Then a 4 minute cool-down.
It started off great! I felt empowered with my new running shoes ($22 Adidas from Ross!) and clothes. I felt AWESOME with my iPod playing rock music. I felt slightly worried that I would lose my keys (mental note: buy a lanyard).
After the first minute of running, however, the difficulty level shot sky high. I thought 3 minutes of running would be a breeze...oh boy, was I wrong. My whole body kept seizing up, and then I would realize that my form was really bad and try to correct it. Suddenly, carrying my iPod was a nuisance...and I did drop the keys (luckily, I somehow heard the "clink" of them hitting the cement over the sound of my music). When it was 4 minute walk-time, I was thanking the Lord Jesus.
When I got home, I walked to the kitchen to make a protein shake, only to realize I didn't have any milk. I pondered over the situation for a moment, and decided to walk/run to the gas station nearby to get some. Driving seemed like a stupid idea since I had just walked/ran about 3 times the distance.
Then it hit...OH MY GOSH, it was awful.
ITCHING...my legs, hips, thighs...itching and burning! What the heck? I have NO IDEA, but it was unbearable. I walked, and it went away. When I started running again, it came back. Could my own body be against me in this goal to better myself?
That doesn't make any sense!
I made it home after questioning myself several times about why I did not just take the car. I've learned my lesson...always have milk.
Tomorrow is walk 8 minutes, alternate walking/running for 12 minutes...4 minute walk. Somehow...I'm still excited about it!
And in case you're interested, here is a map of my walk/run today!
http://www.mapmyrun.com/route/us/fl/tampa/420129376407977481
Friday, November 13, 2009
An Honest Statement
I have a soft aching in my chest. I'd like to say its because of many things, but I know the exact thing that caused it, and I have to say, I'm ashamed of myself.
I feel like even though I have learned that God is all that I need and that I can't fill any hole in my life with a husband, I find that it is very difficult to actually put that knowledge into use in my life. I yearn for that companionship. If I can't be wholly satisfied with God as my Number One, how can He ever trust me enough to send me my husband?
Sometimes I think I'm not meant to be married...that there is no man I could ever put up with or that could put up with me, and for awhile I am satisfied and quite happy to not have to deal with any of it. I thank God for those moments of content. Then, slowly and silently, the yearning, hoping, wanting, and waiting creep up on me and I find myself wanting more.
How could I ever want more than God? Its quite terrible. God provides everything that I need...why does my heart stray to man?
And whats worse is that aside from the inability to be content with just God in my life, I cannot fully share in my engaged and married friends' joy because jealousy creeps into my heart when I think about it too much. Of course, I am always quite happy for them...it makes me happy to see them happy and united with the partner God created for them. Its those little thoughts, though...the thoughts like, "Why hasn't God sent me my husband yet?" or "Why are they happy and not me?" that create that aching in my chest.
Its a mixture of discontent, sadness, jealousy, and guilt for feeling those things that settle themselves in for a little while. I need to pray for completion from God, not from a man. I need to pray that God would fix my heart so that I can really just feel pure joy for my friends who have been blessed with their partners.
I feel like even though I have learned that God is all that I need and that I can't fill any hole in my life with a husband, I find that it is very difficult to actually put that knowledge into use in my life. I yearn for that companionship. If I can't be wholly satisfied with God as my Number One, how can He ever trust me enough to send me my husband?
Sometimes I think I'm not meant to be married...that there is no man I could ever put up with or that could put up with me, and for awhile I am satisfied and quite happy to not have to deal with any of it. I thank God for those moments of content. Then, slowly and silently, the yearning, hoping, wanting, and waiting creep up on me and I find myself wanting more.
How could I ever want more than God? Its quite terrible. God provides everything that I need...why does my heart stray to man?
And whats worse is that aside from the inability to be content with just God in my life, I cannot fully share in my engaged and married friends' joy because jealousy creeps into my heart when I think about it too much. Of course, I am always quite happy for them...it makes me happy to see them happy and united with the partner God created for them. Its those little thoughts, though...the thoughts like, "Why hasn't God sent me my husband yet?" or "Why are they happy and not me?" that create that aching in my chest.
Its a mixture of discontent, sadness, jealousy, and guilt for feeling those things that settle themselves in for a little while. I need to pray for completion from God, not from a man. I need to pray that God would fix my heart so that I can really just feel pure joy for my friends who have been blessed with their partners.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Getting Into Shape
I started running again. I've tried several times in the past to get into a regular habit of running, but it never caught on. This time, however, I have something that I previously did not: a running buddy! My best friend Alberto ran track in high school so he's a great runner and he loves it. He's been helping me and coaching me. Its been great...I've enjoyed it.
In other news, I've been starting on my final paintings for classes. Each class is demanding a 6'x4' canvas. I'll be working on masonite board. Its cheaper. Also working on a stop motion video for Electronic Media class and a paper for my Contemporary Issues in Art class.
I hate the end of the semester. 1 more month to go until its all over!
In other news, I've been starting on my final paintings for classes. Each class is demanding a 6'x4' canvas. I'll be working on masonite board. Its cheaper. Also working on a stop motion video for Electronic Media class and a paper for my Contemporary Issues in Art class.
I hate the end of the semester. 1 more month to go until its all over!
Monday, November 2, 2009
Ew.
My apartment is disgusting. There is still a ton of stuff all over the floor from the move; I just haven't had the time to find a place for it all.
Also, my roommate's kitten is peeing everywhere, and somehow, only on my stuff. He's peed on all of my reusable shopping bags, except one, my color chart, my shoes, and my light box for photography, which is now useless because it has a big yellow stain on it. He's also peed on the carpet several times...and somehow I'm always the one home when he does it, so I always have to clean it up. The apartment smells like urine and there is litter all over the floor. None of us own a vacuum cleaner, so I'm going to go to the store today or tomorrow to buy one. I got my tax return check just in time because I'm about to go crazy.
I don't even like being home, so I avoid it. Its sad because I have a cat, too, and I feel bad for leaving him all the time. We have to find a way to make that kitten stop peeing everywhere except his litter box.
Also, my roommate's kitten is peeing everywhere, and somehow, only on my stuff. He's peed on all of my reusable shopping bags, except one, my color chart, my shoes, and my light box for photography, which is now useless because it has a big yellow stain on it. He's also peed on the carpet several times...and somehow I'm always the one home when he does it, so I always have to clean it up. The apartment smells like urine and there is litter all over the floor. None of us own a vacuum cleaner, so I'm going to go to the store today or tomorrow to buy one. I got my tax return check just in time because I'm about to go crazy.
I don't even like being home, so I avoid it. Its sad because I have a cat, too, and I feel bad for leaving him all the time. We have to find a way to make that kitten stop peeing everywhere except his litter box.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Tuesday Recap
The day began with a ten minute snooze after my initial alarm, followed by a reluctant awakening and emergence from my warm covers. After my morning routine, I went to my 9:30am painting class and painted our TA wearing a costume of herself (it was made of felt, I think); it had this strange Muppet-meets-Chainsaw-Massacre look.
I was overcome with joy at discovering that my 2pm Contemporary Issues in Art class was canceled The entire day was mine! My friend Mark gave me a beautiful wood panel with 2 1/2 inch sides to paint on. Its large, though I don't know the actual dimensions. I think its larger than 30" x 40", which is my normal size for in-class paintings. I'm going to use the panel for my Paris exhibition submission (all the students that went to Paris this past summer with the School of Art get a show in late November). I'm going to paint some sort of cityscape...thing.
I spent most of the day at the BCM. Alberto and I went to Publix and bought some pizza rolls, some dessert, and some wart removal liquid. We're going to remove our warts together. I have two on my middle finger...right next to eachother...and they're still under the surface. They hurt and are annoying. So for the next few weeks I'll be burning off layers of skin with acid until they're gone! Hurrah.
I also worked on my movie project. It won't be done tomorrow. Oops.
My armpit is still swollen and painful. I kind of just feel fat on that side.
I decided to stick with my BFA.
I learned I can hold off on the Honors thesis until I do my art thesis a year from now. Excellent.
I talked to my mommy. <3
Alberto and I were drilled about our present status as friends, and that's always fun.
I am drinking cream soda from a glass bottle, and I feel vintage.
I was overcome with joy at discovering that my 2pm Contemporary Issues in Art class was canceled The entire day was mine! My friend Mark gave me a beautiful wood panel with 2 1/2 inch sides to paint on. Its large, though I don't know the actual dimensions. I think its larger than 30" x 40", which is my normal size for in-class paintings. I'm going to use the panel for my Paris exhibition submission (all the students that went to Paris this past summer with the School of Art get a show in late November). I'm going to paint some sort of cityscape...thing.
I spent most of the day at the BCM. Alberto and I went to Publix and bought some pizza rolls, some dessert, and some wart removal liquid. We're going to remove our warts together. I have two on my middle finger...right next to eachother...and they're still under the surface. They hurt and are annoying. So for the next few weeks I'll be burning off layers of skin with acid until they're gone! Hurrah.
I also worked on my movie project. It won't be done tomorrow. Oops.
My armpit is still swollen and painful. I kind of just feel fat on that side.
I decided to stick with my BFA.
I learned I can hold off on the Honors thesis until I do my art thesis a year from now. Excellent.
I talked to my mommy. <3
Alberto and I were drilled about our present status as friends, and that's always fun.
I am drinking cream soda from a glass bottle, and I feel vintage.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Waiting Part II
Today my swollen armpit and I are waiting in the doctor's office at school. The waiting room smells like poop, and there are twelve other sorry looking souls in here; I feel extremely healthy in comparison. I think I recognize two of them from Sarasota...its pretty weird when you go to college and in your "last" year, you think you recognize someone you probably haven't seen since elementary school...or those horrid days at the Boys and Girls Club.
Anywho, the smell is awful and I'm cowering in a corner because this place is a cesspool for germs. Nearly everyone is coughing, or has a puffy face, or is slumped halfway over in their chair. I coughed twice already...I haven't coughed in months, but I sit in this room for 10 minutes and I cough. I'm hoping its all in my head.
I have class at 11:50, but I have a feeling I'm going to miss it, or part of it. My professor will not be happy. I have a project due on Wednesday. Ugh, whyyyy? I will never take so many studio classes ever again. This has been motivation-suicide.
By the way, after talking with my academic adviser, I decided to stick with the BFA in studio art instead of switching to the BA. I would feel like a quitter if I didn't, and since I don't know what I want to do with my life, whats the hurry to get out of school? It's going to take me another year and a half, though, because I have no money; I can only take a couple classes at a time. Oh well...at least it won't be a year and a half of quite so much crazy as this semester.
Alright, I'm going to stop writing in case I get called soon. I doubt I will, but here's to wishful thinking.
Anywho, the smell is awful and I'm cowering in a corner because this place is a cesspool for germs. Nearly everyone is coughing, or has a puffy face, or is slumped halfway over in their chair. I coughed twice already...I haven't coughed in months, but I sit in this room for 10 minutes and I cough. I'm hoping its all in my head.
I have class at 11:50, but I have a feeling I'm going to miss it, or part of it. My professor will not be happy. I have a project due on Wednesday. Ugh, whyyyy? I will never take so many studio classes ever again. This has been motivation-suicide.
By the way, after talking with my academic adviser, I decided to stick with the BFA in studio art instead of switching to the BA. I would feel like a quitter if I didn't, and since I don't know what I want to do with my life, whats the hurry to get out of school? It's going to take me another year and a half, though, because I have no money; I can only take a couple classes at a time. Oh well...at least it won't be a year and a half of quite so much crazy as this semester.
Alright, I'm going to stop writing in case I get called soon. I doubt I will, but here's to wishful thinking.
I Give Up
Ok. I give up! I'll do it! I'll go to see the doctor!
That was just me letting my body know that it has won. Tomorrow I will be heading to the student health center to see a doctor because this morning I woke up with a swollen, painful armpit.
Yep. My armpit.
Let me provide you with some context so that you will understand why a swollen armpit is forcing me to go to the doctor. I've been getting fevers. They're usually low, except that one last night was pretty high, I think. I've gotten 4 or 5 in the last two weeks. That's weird, right? There are never any other symptoms...just the fever and the dizziness and fatigue that comes with it. I take a Motrin, it goes away, and stays gone for a few days. Also, my skin has been really sensitive. I don't know if anyone else experiences this, but when I have a fever, I get really sensitive skin. Anything that touches it feels like sandpaper. Well my skin has been nearly-constantly sensitive since I started getting these fevers.
A few days ago, my muscle by my right armpit started aching. I thought I must have strained it, though I couldn't recall how. Last night it hurt worse, though I figured it was just because of work. Well this morning I go to shave and notice that its all swollen compared to the other armpit, and it also hurts. Whaaat the heck? A swollen armpit? I've never heard of that.
First thing that pops into my mind:
Its cancer.
Second thing that pops into my mind:
Its not cancer, but if it was, that would be a horrible place to get it.
My armpit? REALLY? Is that normal? I mean, if everyone gets a swollen armpit from time to time, I'm totally cool with it. Yes, its kind of weird, and yes, the extra sweating (did I mention that I'm sweating a little more than usual from that underarm?) is pretty annoying, but if it happens to everyone, I'm down for a little armpit swelling.
If my body is just being complicated, I'm going to be pretty T.O.ed, make no mistake about it! I'm pretty baffled.
That was just me letting my body know that it has won. Tomorrow I will be heading to the student health center to see a doctor because this morning I woke up with a swollen, painful armpit.
Yep. My armpit.
Let me provide you with some context so that you will understand why a swollen armpit is forcing me to go to the doctor. I've been getting fevers. They're usually low, except that one last night was pretty high, I think. I've gotten 4 or 5 in the last two weeks. That's weird, right? There are never any other symptoms...just the fever and the dizziness and fatigue that comes with it. I take a Motrin, it goes away, and stays gone for a few days. Also, my skin has been really sensitive. I don't know if anyone else experiences this, but when I have a fever, I get really sensitive skin. Anything that touches it feels like sandpaper. Well my skin has been nearly-constantly sensitive since I started getting these fevers.
A few days ago, my muscle by my right armpit started aching. I thought I must have strained it, though I couldn't recall how. Last night it hurt worse, though I figured it was just because of work. Well this morning I go to shave and notice that its all swollen compared to the other armpit, and it also hurts. Whaaat the heck? A swollen armpit? I've never heard of that.
First thing that pops into my mind:
Its cancer.
Second thing that pops into my mind:
Its not cancer, but if it was, that would be a horrible place to get it.
My armpit? REALLY? Is that normal? I mean, if everyone gets a swollen armpit from time to time, I'm totally cool with it. Yes, its kind of weird, and yes, the extra sweating (did I mention that I'm sweating a little more than usual from that underarm?) is pretty annoying, but if it happens to everyone, I'm down for a little armpit swelling.
If my body is just being complicated, I'm going to be pretty T.O.ed, make no mistake about it! I'm pretty baffled.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
A Saturday in Need of Improvement
I woke up this morning feeling terribly groggy because I went to bed ridiculously late, then slept in till almost noon. I figured I would adjust eventually and went about my day as usual. I watched some of the USF vs PITT game, but it wasn't much of a battle...we were pretty much handing PITT the victory with smiles on our faces. "Yes, sir, please, cream us." Alberto came by for a little while. When he left I got ready and went to work.
I found out that USF lost 41 - 14. Absolutely disgraceful. I heard they took BJ Daniels out...if that's true, I feel pretty badly for him. Anyway, work went fine for awhile. When it was time for my break, I began to notice I was getting chills. By the time my break was over, I knew I had a fever. My head was heavy and hot and I was shivering and sweating at the same time.
I had some waves of nausea as the night went on as well. I knew I was going to throw up....it was like a sleeping dragon, ready to rise and attack me at any moment. Some how, I did not find myself in a moment of trauma while hovering over the toilet bowl. The nausea eventually went away, for which I am very grateful. Vomiting is one of the worst things I can think of. Eventually I went home early. I was kind of light headed and so hot that I could feel the heat rising out of my shirt and hitting me in the face.
Now I can barely keep my eyes open....I'm pretty sure I just need some rest. Goodnight world.
I found out that USF lost 41 - 14. Absolutely disgraceful. I heard they took BJ Daniels out...if that's true, I feel pretty badly for him. Anyway, work went fine for awhile. When it was time for my break, I began to notice I was getting chills. By the time my break was over, I knew I had a fever. My head was heavy and hot and I was shivering and sweating at the same time.
I had some waves of nausea as the night went on as well. I knew I was going to throw up....it was like a sleeping dragon, ready to rise and attack me at any moment. Some how, I did not find myself in a moment of trauma while hovering over the toilet bowl. The nausea eventually went away, for which I am very grateful. Vomiting is one of the worst things I can think of. Eventually I went home early. I was kind of light headed and so hot that I could feel the heat rising out of my shirt and hitting me in the face.
Now I can barely keep my eyes open....I'm pretty sure I just need some rest. Goodnight world.
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